Birthday Slide Show Pt2

WEeeeeeeeeeeee

Animoto for Melissa

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Shocking Discovery

This morning, at half-past the ninth hour, corn was found allegedly enlisting the help of several other vegetables. Green beans, peas, and molasses were all found associating with this communistic power. The Swedish breakdancing team immediately pounced on every unit of C.O.R.N. visible, viciously wreaking revenge on the scum that critically scratched one of its members.

When asked what it had to say for itself, an "ear" told reporters that "Corn is sick and tired of having to fight all by corn's self. Corn just wants some allies to help communize the world. You got a problem with that? Corn hopes you don't."

The unit then went on to tell our clearly uniformed reporter all about their secret plots. Another thing about corn: It REALLY likes to gossip. About itself.

"Yeah, C.O.R.N. has already planned its latest invasion upon your homes. Starting next week, at the fourteenth hour of the nineteenth day, corn shall begin corn's wrath, OPERATION: LABYRINTH! You shall all be forced to solve the terribly difficult corn mazes that shall spontaneously spring up in the space between your door and your driveway, and the fact that you shall all have to wake up at no later than 2 AM shall add the stress that will trigger communistic behavior after encounters with raw corn. You have to cook the communism out, you see, or else you'll have insane urges to equalize every ingredient in your stew. This will make your dinners HORRIBLE. And that's our plan. To make you incredibly tired, stressed, communist, and disgusted with your stew."

Our chefs from Taco Bell who haven't been fired in the New Jersey E-Coli scandal let us know that until your corn will not shout "AHHH!!! OMG!!!! STOP POKING ME!!!" if you stab it with knife, it is unsuitable for eating.

More to come about our plans to stop this C.O.R.N. invasion.

Corn Starts Brawl; Is Slaughtered!

Last night, at 9:59 PM, several niblets of C.O.R.N. started a massive brawl with the Swedish Breakdancing team. Thankfully, the members were smart enough to bring a portable microwave and some butter with them at all times. The units were slaughtered and made into refreshments for the local movie theater. Sadly, one of the stars of the team were critically scratched. Please send them your cheer and wellness.

Now do you see? CORN MUST BE STOPPED! IT CAN'T JUST GO ON INJURING INNOCENT, SWEDISH BREAKDANCING SENSATIONS LIKE THIS!!! IT MUST BE STOPPED!!!! NOW!!!!! YOU CAN EAT THOSE POTATO CHIPS LATER!!!!

I SAID NOW!!!

Corn SHOPLIFTS!!!

Corn was caught at the Lehigh Valley Mall shoplifting from Subway. The secret operative was stopped from bringing the store's soda fountain into its car. When asked for its defense statement, this C.O.R.N. operative said:

"Corn just wanted his Fanta. Don't YOOOOOU wantaFanta???"

Do you really WantaFanta?? Or do you want JUSTICE AND A FANTA???!!!

Choose wisely.

Or else our world will be forever ruled by communist CORN!!!!

AND WHO WANTS THAT??!?!???!

Captive Secured

We have secured the poor captive in the photo below. Though thoroughly shaken, he told this reporter that he learned from this experience.

"I've learned to HATE!!! TO HATE CORN AND ITS KERNELS OF EVIL!!! HATE HATE HATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Corn nearly killed my entire family!!!!! AND it slashed prices at the mall... ALONG WITH HALf THE STORES!!! OMG!!! CORN MUST PERISH!!! PERISH!!!"

At this point, he was too upset to even continue.

So ask yourself: Is C.O.R.N really what you think it is? Is it a pretty vegetable? Or a yellow-bellied villian of EVIL???!!!! The answer's really obvious. It's the second one. Corn is just plain BAD.

What has Corn ever done for you, anyway???!!!

Why do people even trust corn? Why do you trust corn? What has corn ever done for you??!!! You want more proof that corn is undeniably evil and communist? Look at that picture:

Right there.....

at the left...

Yeah... look how evil corn is. It clearly has taken over the mind of that poor victim and is now trying to take him to the army of C.O.R.N., with all its "ears" and "niblets" of EVIL. WHO KNOWS WHAT THEY'LL DO TO HIM!?!?!?!??!?!?!??!

Please send funds to support our fleet of corn-fighting justice HEROES!!!!